I usually don’t write cryptic status updates on Facebook. I find them annoying. But Facebook has this feature that reminds you of status updates from years past, and I was reminded of a rare cryptic message I shared, "Found my dog alive. Now I want to kill him." It was five years ago today.
My dog Taz had been missing for three days. We had printed flyers, searched the neighborhood and checked the pound. Every day, I would load my toddlers into the car and search for our dog. It was heartbreaking. On the third day we found him! He was in a neighbor’s front yard “engaged” with a female dog. I was so happy to see him, I couldn’t even get mad. I threw the car in PARK and ran to him. It was raining and I was seven months pregnant. I just wanted to go home. I grabbed his collar and pulled with all my might, but he wouldn’t budge. The dogs were in a mangled mess, butt-to-butt with my dog’s hind leg on top. Another neighbor saw me pulling and came over to help. She took a look and said, “They’re stuck.”
“I know that. I’m trying to pull them apart!” I said.
“You can’t. They’re… STUCK,” she said unable to maintain a straight face.
“Well, how do I get them unstuck?” I asked, my irritation apparent in my voice.
“You can’t until he’s done,” my neighbor explained. “Unless you have a water hose.”
I was seven months pregnant, in the rain, involved in the most awkward ménage trois ever. I didn’t have a water hose on me. By now, other cars had started to drive by, including more neighbors, a police car, and our letter carrier. Everyone seemed to be laughing at me. My toddlers were watching everything from the car. My neighbor ran house to house asking for water, as if there was a fire. I saw more neighbors standing on porches to watch. Eventually, my neighbor returned with a bucket of water and threw it on the dogs. They finally separated, and I dragged Lover Boy to the car. My toddlers were thrilled that our dog was back. I was humiliated and fuming.
That evening my three-year-old called her grandparents to share the exciting news, “Pop-Pop, we found Taz! He got his foot stuck inside another dog’s butt, but he’s home now.”
Living the JACK'd Life
I am a certified birth doula (BAI) in Charlotte, NC . I provide information and support to pregnant individuals and couples so they can have satisfying and empowering births. I am a married mother of 4 trying to navigate life, unafraid of sharing my truly JACK'd up missteps.